Tuesday, April 13, 2010
New release from Weak Show
On April 14th, Shriek Show will release the PRISON GIRLS COLLECTION, a grouping of the unrelated genre films SHADOW DEAD RIOT (2006), WOMEN IN FURY (1986) and VIOLENCE IN A WOMEN'S PRISON (1982). The MSRP on this is $19.99 but I've already seen preorders around $14.99. All three films were previously released in anamorphic widescreen on DVD and VIOLENCE IN A WOMEN'S PRISON was released by Shock-O-Rama under the title CAGED WOMEN as a bonus disc for their WOMEN'S PRISON MASSACRE UNCUT! DVD; which made sense because they were both Bruno Matei films. Why Shriek Show wants to stick SHADOW DEAD RIOT in this collection is beyond me. Yeah, it does have locked up broads but it's a 4 year old loaf of shit! There are enough unreleased titles from the 80's (THE NAKED CAGE & THE CONCRETE JUNGLE come to mind) to make this effort feel super slack stupid pants. No word on the presentations or any extras here. Judging by the no frills box cover (is that clip art for a work out video?) this is probably packaging wrapped around the three individual DVD's like Shriek Show did for their JUNGLE HORRORS, SS HELL PACK, etc. I recommend buying WOMEN IN FURY used for $5.00 and Shock-O-Rama's WOMEN'S PRISON MASSACRE UNCUT! set used for $10 on Amazon. That way you come out of the deal with 3 good movies for the same price.
And what the hell is up with Shriek Show's (a.k.a. Media Blasters) website!? The beginning of your releases always scare the bejesus out of me with loud ass effects promoting your brands and website but your internet presence has been clunky for 10 years. The website has never worked smoothly and locks up all three web browsers on my computer. Shut your damn noise boxes and hire someone other than your cousins to update and design. Jeez. Some of us would love to rent your theatrical releases if the link worked. Hopefully this set will be mastered correctly unlike the experience I had with their FREEZE ME disc many years back. UGH! Not to mention all the discs that didn't include some of the bullet points on the package! To hell with it. This company is dead to me. Buying a DVD shouldn't be a trip to the dentist.
And what the hell is up with Shriek Show's (a.k.a. Media Blasters) website!? The beginning of your releases always scare the bejesus out of me with loud ass effects promoting your brands and website but your internet presence has been clunky for 10 years. The website has never worked smoothly and locks up all three web browsers on my computer. Shut your damn noise boxes and hire someone other than your cousins to update and design. Jeez. Some of us would love to rent your theatrical releases if the link worked. Hopefully this set will be mastered correctly unlike the experience I had with their FREEZE ME disc many years back. UGH! Not to mention all the discs that didn't include some of the bullet points on the package! To hell with it. This company is dead to me. Buying a DVD shouldn't be a trip to the dentist.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
★★★½ LADIES OF THE BIG HOUSE
1931 - USA
77 minutes
Directed by Marion Gering
cast: Sylvia Sidney, Gene Raymond, Wynne Gibson
77 minutes
Directed by Marion Gering
cast: Sylvia Sidney, Gene Raymond, Wynne Gibson
Poor little flower girl Kathleen Storm (Sylvia Sidney) has just married the man of her dreams, fancy-lad Standish McNeil (Gene Raymond). Before the couple can fly to Russia and start a new life that will most likely have him killed on the front lines, Kathleen's gangster ex-boyfriend, Kid Athens, shows up to rub em' out, see. Seems the old thug never got over this dame and vowed to kill anyone who took dem' gams away. A copper shows up to get Kathleen as a witness in a case against Kid
just as the thug is breaking into her apartment. He fills the flatfoot full of lead, leaving the couple to take the wrap. Hotshot Assistant Attorney, John Hartman, who works for Kid Athens, manipulates the jury to a guilty verdict. Standish is sent to death row and Kathleen to tuna town. Thus begins the mucho melodrama of failed appeals, publicity stunts, undying love, stoolies, riots, bust outs and the hangman's noose.
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
2010 Oscar Picks
Its Oscar time again. Is that your enthusiasm or your lunch I smell? Yeah, I know. CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE wasn’t nominated so why does the sultan of sleaze care about the finest cinema have to offer? Well, I try to watch all the nominated screeners to gauge the level of dishonesty involved in this annual douche bag popularity contest. I also like to bet on just about anything. For those willing to wager, I have Mickey Rooney at #1 on my 2010 celebrity death list. Just saying.
So let’s get to the list of people you wouldn’t even join for free brunch.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role:
• Penelope Cruz (Nine)
• Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air)
• Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)
• Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)
• Anna Kendrick (Up in the Air)
• Mo’Nique (Precious)
• Mo’Nique (Precious)
I didn’t see NINE. When I heard they were going to queer up Fellini’s masterpiece 8 ½ by turning it into a musical, I tossed all my Judi Dench spank material in the bin. Cruz won last year for VICKY CRIS TINA BARCELONA so odds are she’s a loser this year. Anna Kendrick phoned in an easy role. Her cast made her look better than she actually is so this is big skip-a-roo. Gyllenhaal and Farmiga both showed some skin in similar low key multi dimensional roles but neither was as memorable as Mo’Nique bringing to life one of the best female screen villains of all time. If Lionsgate lobbied the academy as much as Fox Searchlight & Paramount, Mo’Nique is the clear winner.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role:
• Matt Damon (Invictus)
• Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)
• Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)
•Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones)
• Christopher Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)
• Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)
• Christopher Plummer (The Last Station)
•
• Christopher Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)
Somehow I missed the LAST STATION. Oh yeah, it’s about Tolstoy. That’s how I fucking missed it! Plummer may win because he’s old but it’s only his first nomination. I’m betting most of the Academy doesn’t give a duck fuck about Russian writers either. I hear he’s a real dick to film crews so to hell with that twink fucker. Matt Damon didn’t have a big enough character arch in INVICTUS and Tucci was wasted (better in JULIE & JULIA) in the goofy THE LOVELY BONES; count them horses out of the race. Woody Harrelson should be moved to the best actor category since he had more screen time than Waltz, Tucci and Damon combined. How in the hell a pot smoking liberal environmentalist could bring that level of complex emotion and willful suspension of disbelief to a jar head without showing any of his political bias is a testament to his great acting skill. The scene in which he silently listens to Ben Foster’s monologue, his face alone finally revealing the broken humanity inside, is one of the greatest acting performances ever filmed. He will loose to Christopher Waltz. He got to use multiple languages and played a villain. Oscilloscope Laboratories doesn’t have the money to petition the Academy like the Weinstein Company and their screener DVD was really cheap looking. It’s the only award Inglorious Basterds will win.
Best Actress in a leading role:
Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)
Helen Mirren (The Last Station)
Carey Mulligan (An Education)
Gabourney Sidibie (Precious)
Meryl Streep (Julie & Julia)
This one is easy. Sandra Bullock can only play small variations on one role, nobody gives a flying adult diaper about Oscar winner Helen Mirren anymore, Carey Mulligan doesn’t have the physical flaw required to bring home gold in her miscast role and Gabourney Sidibie’s great performance is probably the only role she can play. Since winning for Sophie’s Choice in 1983, Streep hasn’t won in her last 11 nominations. She has reinvented herself in the last couple of years from a quality actress to a commercially viable actress. JULIE & JULIA was essentially two films and her performance managed to keep the doo doo logs from one half from floating into the other.
Best actor in a leading role:
Jeff Bridges (Crazy Heart)
George Clooney (Up in the Air)
Colin Firth (A Single Man)
Morgan Freeman (Invictus)
Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker)
This is a lock. Clooney was playing Clooney, Freeman was playing Freeman, Renner was playing Renner and Firth just had to play a nice guy having a breakdown. Bridges easily wins for a performance nowhere near as good as Mickey Rourke’s loss last year for THE WRESTLER. Bet the house.
Best Picture:
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
An Education
District 9
The Blind Side
Up
Up in the Air
Precious
A Simple Man
Inglorious Basterds
This year they decided to add ten films which means some obvious clunkers made the cut. Let’s trim some fat. UP is a god damned cartoon. While a good one, they already have a kiddie picture category called Best Animated Film of the Year which it will win so no go daddy-o. A SIMPLE MAN is a Jewie Ingmar Bergman film. The Academy likes to think American cinema is on par with European classics so they tossed it on here. It won’t get a single vote. We’ve seen or read stories like AN EDUCATION a zillion times and this one is British. CRANK 2 has a better chance of winning as a write-in. UP IN THE AIR is the middle aged male version of AN EDUCATION and it’s only here in the hopes of women who fantasize that George Clooney is ready to settle down will put down their wine glass and cat long enough to tune in. The imbecilic INGLORIOUS BASTERDS & impressive DISTRICT 9 were nominated to get a fanboy audience to watch the ceremonies. They won’t and it doesn’t matter; neither is winning. THE BLIND SIDE is a crappy heart string pulling movie geared towards white guilt that manages to embarrass itself and Michael Oher. If it had any competition that would be PREC IOUS, a tougher film that doesn’t need whitey for a hand out. It’s the best film out of the ten but doesn’t stand a chance.
The battle, I’m sure you know is down to AVAT AR vs. THE HURT LOCKER. The solid money is on the eye candy spectacle AVAT AR. It’s been cleaning up on the trophy circuit but is nothing more than a poorly written environmental fantasy for the socially inept. AVAT AR shouldn’t even be nominated. It’s a piece of shit. THE HURT LOCK ER is a damn good original piece of work that deserves to win but sadly it won’t. Why? The way the voting works is the winner must have 51% of the votes so they keep voting until one film reaches the magic number. That almost eliminates DISTRIC T 9 from skimming AVAT AR votes. Then you have the highest grossing AVATAR vs. the lowest grossing THE HURT LOCKER. Only a few of the big box office hits have won OSCA RS (Example TITANIC, RETURN OF THE KIN G) but no film has grossed as little as THE HURT LOCKER and won best picture. AVAT AR also has bigger studio bucks behind it for lobbying the Academy. Chances are Kathryn Bigelow will win best director (first for a female) so that lessens the best picture chances. Hmmm….. Ah fuck it; I’m going for the underdog THE HURT LOCKER. It’s a real movie. I can’t wager on something as brain hemorrhage inducing as unobtanium.
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Friday, March 5, 2010
★★★ DESTROYER
a.k.a. Shadow of Death, The Edison Effect
Directed by Robert Kirk
cast: Deborah Foreman, Clayton Rohner, Lyle Alzado, Anthony Perkins
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The numerous in-jokes, rip-offs, groan-inducing stock characters and blatant use of dream sequences (very common around this time) to emulate the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET series actually added more nostalgia than “seen it before” snobbery to my viewing experience.
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Friday, February 19, 2010
★★★½ LADY VENGEANCE
Chinjeolhan geumjassi
a.k.a. Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, My Lady Vengeance, Shed Tears for Lady Vengeance, Kind-Hearted Ms. Geum-Ja
Directed by Chan-wook Park
cast: Yeong-ae Lee, Min-sik Choi, Tony Barry, Anne Cordiner, Su-hee Go, Hye-jeong Kang, Bu-seon Kim, Byeong-ok Kim, Shi-hoo
2005 - South Korea
112 minutes
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Thursday, February 18, 2010
★½ THE JAIL: WOMEN'S HELL
Directed by Bruno Mattei (as Vincent Dawn)
written by Antonio Tentori
Cast: Dyane Craystan, Jim Gaines, Odette Khan, Mike Monty, Amelie Pontailler, Yvette Yzon
2006 - Italy
94 minutes
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★★★ WOMEN OF DEVIL'S ISLAND (1962)
Le prigioniere dell'isola del diavolo
a.k.a. Przesluchanie , Island of Imprisoned Women, Women Prisoner's of Devil's Island
directed by Domenico Paolella
written by Ernesto Gastaldi and Domenico Paolella
cast: Guy Madison, Michele Mercier, Paul Muller,Marisa Belli
1962 - Italy | France86 minutes
written by Ernesto Gastaldi and Domenico Paolella
cast: Guy Madison, Michele Mercier, Paul Muller,Marisa Belli
1962 - Italy | France86 minutes
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Saturday, February 13, 2010
★★½ SASORI
Directed by Joe Ma
Cast: Miki Mizuno, Dylan Kuo, Emme Wong
2008 - Japan
101 minutes
101 minutes
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In this version, housewife Sasori (Miki Mizuno) becomes the victim of some psychotic thugs hired by a wealthy bioengineer to assassinate her father in-law. These thrill kill super villains like to get their kicks as well, so they force her to kill noodle-happy dad and the sister in-law while her cop husband (Dylan Kuo) watches. By some inexplicable comic logic, she never explains who forced her to do it and the husband never saw the four fashion foes standing in their house!
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I have a sneaking suspicion that the end of this film was shot first then the production ran out of money. Other than the lighting, the first hour of Sasori looks like a 50 buck budget and contains so many annoying fading, zooming and dissolving jump cuts punctuated by loud sound effects it almost induces seizures. The prison sequence is so no-frills that the number designating Sassori as the infamous prisoner 701 appears to be written in Sharpie on a “Hello my name is” sticker! The last 30 minutes resembles a completely different film with a 500K budget and better crew. There are even plot revelations in the end that were never set up in the beginning, so they don’t make any sense. What the hell?!
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Friday, February 12, 2010
★½ JOURNEY AMONG WOMEN
Written & Directed by Tom Cowan
Cast: June Pritchard, Martin Phelan, Nell Campbell
1977 - Austrailia
93 minutes
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Wednesday, February 10, 2010
★★½ The Green-Eyed Blonde (1957)
BIG BUST OUT: The Green-Eyed Blonde (1957) Full Review
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The inmates hide the toddler and form stronger bonds from the new responsibilities of motherhood and Betsy finally warms up to her kid, but the staff eventually becomes suspicious when the girls constantly break into loud group singing to cover the babies crying and Renie (Beverly Long) is busted burying soiled diapers made from the disappearing linen. The baby is found in the possession of Greeneye and taken to an orphanage resulting in a massive and quite impressive reform school riot.
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For you Trekies out there, Susan Oliver went on to play Nina in the two part STAR TREK Menagerie episodes. Producer Martin Melcher would go on to squander Doris Day's money in bad investments, turn down the offer for old Doris to play Mrs. Robinson in THE GRADUATE (without her knowledge) and die right after signing his wife to a CBS TV series (without her consent). Obviously, Melcher liked to live up to the high moral codes of the pictures he produced.
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