Jimbo's 30 Favorite Action Film Posters

Anyone who knows my shenanigans also knows I'm crazy for movie posters. I saw a recent "best of list" for the 50 best action movie posters of all time and it was a total mainstream kick in the nugget sack. What kind of ignorant hipster dildo puts the circle jerk flick 300 in the #1 spot? A tool. That's who. So I've decided to put my two cents of bullshit into the opinion machine with my own damn list. What I require in an action movie poster is not always based on layout and design. My criteria is mainly action or hot gals. I don't want to see some pretty boy, no matter how aesthetically pleasing the poster may be, trying to act tough with nothing going down. Since it would have filled the list, I left out VHS covers, Spaghetti Westerns and many posters that would of required more thought than a pot of coffee allows. I could of filled this whole thing up with Women In Prison posters but I'll save that for another day.

#30 DEAR GOD NO!
Yeah, I know what your thinking, "You can't do that, it's your film". Damn right I can. Obviously this list is biased. I'm not a goddamned scientist. Actually I think this should be #1 but I'm getting the shameless promotion out of the way. So there.

#29 DRAGSTRIP RIOT
The actual film is a snoozefest (it's no Dragstrip Girl) but check out the way out poster action, man. One of the best taglines ever. I like how evenly stacked the fight is too. Well, he does have a car but the other guy has a wrench. Car beats motorcycle but I know fist don't beat wrench! Golly willickers I'm confused and they are coming right at me!

#28 BLACK CAESAR
Hail to the motherfuckin' yeah, Caesar. One of the best films of the 70's with the best soundtrack of the 70's has one killer poster. How killer? It has thugs protecting the logo!

#27 BLACK MAMA WHITE MAMA

Not the best illustration but I dig the action and sheer ballyhoo of this poster.

#26 GET CARTER
"Top of the morning to you, I'm Michael Caine and I'm quite hacked off ."

#25 ANGELS HARD AS THEY COME
Not only is this mean motor scooter burning out on a rival, he's draggin' one too! Love how the sleazy broad's crotch is a headlight. Top shelf.

#24 THE BONNIE PARKER STORY
Hell yeah! My favorite type of machine gun being blasted through a bullet riddled window by a cigar smoking doll. AIP ruled the drive-in 1-sheet realm.

# 23 SUKEBAN HUNTERS
Rockin' Jelly Beans poster for the Sukeban Hunters films is more stylish than I usually like from a film poster. BUT! The curves on this female illustration pre-moisten my stache.

#22 TOMCATS
Also known as GETTING EVEN, this crazy regional rapin' flick packs all the right elements into a 1-sheet.  A great tagline, stabbin' cabin and white trash crack make this one I'm proud to own. Speaking of white trash....

#21 CONVOY
This critically misunderstood flick is awesome and the poster throws in an explosion which is always a plus.

#20 THE BLACK GESTAPO
A gem of a film. The poster has these confused cretins gunnin' down whitey and keeping his sluttiest daughter
all in front of black power grabbin' lightning! Right on and solid.

#19 MODERN YAKUZA: OUTLAW KILLER
Bunta Sugawara is a total ass kicker and this poster shows that if you mess with him, he's gonna come at
your sorry ass with a butcher knife and a motherfucking bar stool, bitch! Kinji Fukasaku's best film. Yeah,
I said it you Battle Royale fanboys.

#18 SPEED DRIVER
Holy shit! The poster can't contain these crazy assholes! They are exploding through two way traffic to land on your face! It will make you nauseous if you stare at it to long. Beware.

#17 BLACK CAESAR
What again? Damn skippy. This is an awesome image that says I shot whitey whatcha gonna do copper! Top of the world Bitches!

#16 THUNDERBOLT & LIGHTBOLT
I love the composition of this poster and what I like even better is Clint telling the viewer, "Yeah, I got
some square looking clothes, but dig my big ass gun! Too late, I blew a bowling ball sized hole through you, punk. Now go fuck a duck."

#15 WAR GODDESS
Over here! Throw her on me, goddess of the camel toe. Terrence Young really should be considered a great
auteur for his Hammer Horror films and his mastery of booze. If you don't like this cat fight extravaganza, you are dead to me.

#14 FATHER'S DAY
As much as I dislike Canadian borders and find Loyd Kaufman to be a cancer on Independent filmmakers, I do like the talented Astron 6. As always, Mr. Hodge delivers the goods with one twisted, ribald and curiously exciting old school poster showcasing some bottom boob. Don't get that often.

#13 DEATH WISH 3
Throw Chucky Bronson on a poster with a big ol' gun and people will buy tickets. Very similar to most of his films but what I dig about this one is that at his back is civilization or his romanticized world while he fires at reality and the punks messin' up the good ol' days. The moral of the story is lay down with Chuck or move next door a you will get gang rapped by goons.

#12 DEATH RIDERS
This delivers the action. It's thrilling enough to be hang gliding into bullets but check out James Coburn in the bottom right. He don't give a fuck! He's gonna shoot the pilot because it's a goddamned suicide mission, people! No one get's out alive!

#11 LIVE AND LET DIE
There are tons of good Bond posters, some great ones with sexy Robert McGinnis gals but this French McGinnis poster is crazy too. Connery casually insults gravity as Donald Pleasance's rocket ship, scheme, cat and evil volcano lair go KABOOM!

#10 WOMEN'S PRISON MASSACRE

I love Bruno Mattei. Who is he on this poster? Gilbert? Oh, Uncle Bruno. This poster is panty snatching awesome from the over the top illustrations to the crazy headline.I also love the strange perspective of the helicopter. The bitches be busting out ! Send in the RC copter.

#9 MAD MAX
Iconic. Nuff' said.

#8 THE EXTERMINATOR 2
Great color and a poster that says everything is gonna burn. And I'm the guy doin' it! Bwahahahahaha!!!! Like Fahrenheit 451 if books were scumbags!

#7 HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN
Tom Hodge goes Joe Colemanesque on some Hauer. Great layout, crazy imagery and a fantastic logo. Dig the shotgun shells. Already a classic. Yeah, The Dude is on here three times but he's that damn good people.

#6 DEATH RACE 2000
The graphic on this British Quad reflects futuristic ideas from a style and perspective that screams 70s. You know what your getting when you buy a ticket here. Beautiful.

#5 CRASH
This wacky movie isn't half as nuts as the poster. Just stare at it awhile. Have you ever seen accident victims from a demonic car driven by an idol? Didn't think so.

#4 THE GREAT TEXAS DYNAMITE CHASE
Yeah, baby. I don't know if I can stop looking up at your crotches long enough to be concerned with the lit TNT your gonna stick up my poop chute and the gun pointed at my ugly mug. Love it. A different take from the thousands of hot gal with guns posters. Tough ladies with snatches and cleavage win every time.

#3 ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK
Plisken may be a pissed off American but this Italian poster is the one that says, "Get out of my way, got no time!" There are numerous Italian post apocalyptic posters like this but this is the one to own in my opinion.

#2 DANGER DIABOLIK
This unique ripped up Italian poster is the embodiment of the anarchy caused by John Phillip Law as Diabolik. Made in two versions, this one pours my beer.

#1 THE GAUNTLET
The master of fantasy art brings the grit to one of the best action film posters ever made. Every stroke masterfully captures the desperate situation. The bullet ridden bus is gorgeous and the facial expressions are timeless. They must have known it was gonna be baddass because they sure gave him the canvas.
I miss Frank. What a beautiful bastard.

Have I made you want to wipe the dingle berries from your turd cutter with the 300 poster? I sure hope so. Reply away with your favorites but don't be a Todd and talk about some stupid photoshop head job.